When I was 7 years old I sat in front of my first microcomputer, a Commodore 64. It had come with a detailed User Manual, which I had read from cover to cover. This would be the start of a journey that made me the man I am today.
My First Games
The Commodore 64 MicroComputer User Manual was the first time I was exposed to the idea of “computing.” I would experiment with the code in the book, entering it into the computer, and watching the result. It was a language that could tell the computer what to do. The screen started with nothing, and from that I could create anything. That was the power of this new technology, and I wanted it.
The Commodore 64, for all intents and purposes, was never really a computer you could use in an office. It was essentially a home gaming computer, and gaming is what I would do. Whether waiting half an hour for a cassette tape to load and hoping it doesn’t fail, or simply booting from a 51/4 inch floppy, I’d discover what games could be on this machine.
Then I found a book about programming games on the Commodore 64. I copied out the code and tried all of the games. I understood how they worked since I wrote the code myself. Then came the moment I realised I didn’t have to use the code exactly as written. I changed a line of code and the game did something new. It did what I told it do. I had learned that I could make the games play exactly how I wanted them to.
A Foray Into Modding
In the 90s I became the stereotypical computer nerd. If you’ve ever seen any high school movie from the late 90s/early 2000s then you know the type. Nerdy, target of bullying, spends a lot of time in the computer lab. When PCs came out I would learn how to program on them, how to make websites, and how to make games.
More importantly, I learned how to modify existing games. I used Assembly to move Starcraft into a fantasy setting. I used many programming languages to develop mods for games like Quake, Unreal, and Morrowind. I modded more games than I completed.
People kept trying to pull me away from the screen. My teachers, my family, anyone who thought I was wasting my life. Maybe it looked like addiction to them. But to me, it felt like finally having control over something. And it turned out I would be right.
Falling Into Games
I had a hard time deciding what degree to do. It was so difficult to choose I almost gave up on the prospect of going to university altogether. Then I discovered the perfect degree: Computer Games Technology at Liverpool John Moores University. I immediately applied, and got accepted very quickly.
At university I met many people like myself. Nerdy types who loved anime, video games, and hacking. I was exposed to a whole new world of programming and video game development. Eventually I graduated and started looking for a real job.
The search was tough. I almost gave up again. But then I got accepted into my first position. Finally I was a real game programmer working on a real project. One that would be released worldwide!
This started a career that would lead me through several projects with many different companies. I worked on a game set in Tajikistan, a country I’m hoping to visit soon. I worked on the first ever video game console to be released in China, although the money ran out before it saw the light of day.
One of my proudest achievements is working on a game featuring one of my favourite comic book characters. Batman: Arkham Origins is a personal highlight of my career.
Later on in my career I started to lose the passion. I had moved into server programming and was so far removed from the gameplay it didn’t feel like creating fun stuff for people to play any more. I was working on login flows, payment processes, matchmaking. All important stuff but, to me, it held no interest.
I found that instead of working I would browse reddit, or just fall asleep. It wasn’t laziness, I just couldn’t motivate myself to do the job. I kept telling myself I needed it, kept trying to force myself to enjoy it. But the curiosity just wasn’t there any more.
I was burning out, and something needed to change.
The Nomad Modder
It was no surprise to me when I got made redundant. But in a strange way it was one of the best things that had ever happened to me. It enabled me to start living a dream I’d had since I was young. I set out to travel the world.
Of course, I couldn’t give up the code. I started working on another project that had been on the back burner for a while. And now, Bok’s Banging Butterflies has over 600,000 downloads. I started working on my website again, and publishing devblogs and travel blogs as time went on.
I’ve travelled to many more countries in Asia now, figuring things out along the way. Visas, languages, money, new ways to code, among many others. It’s a fun life, and one I’ve always wanted. But it won’t last. I have one more thing I need to figure out.
Just Figuring It Out
I’ve got the time and money to continue travelling for now. But I need to figure out what I’m going to do next. Lately I’ve been travelling to different countries and helping to run regional Burns. I’ve recently helped build Burns in Taiwan, China, and India, and have volunteered at Burns in Japan and New Zealand.
But none of this is going to pay the bills in the long run. There’s only one thing I know how to do, something I’ve been doing since I first laid fingers on a keyboard. It’s time to start making my own games again.
