I found this entry in my dream diary so I edited it into a short story. I remember when I woke from this dream I was laughing to tears. It’s probably not as hilarious as I remember it. Even if it’s not that funny, it’s definitely weird.
I was woken by the cock’s crow as usual. When I got to it’s cage he was pruning its white feathers. I had to keep him locked up, since he gets violent with the other animals. It’s more for his own protection, really. He’s more likely to lose any fight he starts, especially if he annoys the cat.
I found the goat wandering in the living room. He was bleating a lot which made me think he was agitated. I did what I usually did to calm him down. I walked over and kneeled next to him, placed my head on the coffee table, and reached out to give him a belly rub. This calmed him down, and he rested his head on top of mine.
When a billy goat tries to curl up and sleep with you it can be uncomfortable. He means well and just wants to show affection, but they are fairly large, with pointy horns, sharp hooves, and bony limbs; all of which inevitably dig into you. I let him make me uncomfortable for as long as I could bear before I stood up again.
He seemed content with this so I went over to lie on the couch. This is when I noticed a snow white cat staring at me from couch on the other side of the room. Was he jealous of the goat and the affection I gave it? As I wondered this I realised I was staring back into the cat’s eyes. We were both unable to look away from each other now, trapped in an endless staring competition.
Endless until a scruffy white dog rushed into the room and interrupted us. He sat on the floor and looked at me, then the cat, then me again, back and forth between us. I recognised the dog as belonging to my ex, and I could hear her and one of her friends talking outside the room.
I tried to get the dog’s attention by making barking noises. The dog looked at me, and then I head barking. Except it wasn’t the dog. The cat was now barking at the dog, trying to steal its attention back. The dog looked at the cat and tilted it’s head. The cat and I took turns barking at the dog, which became ever more befuddled each time.
At this point I became scared that my ex would walk into the room. I really didn’t want to talk to her so I decided to wake up. I opened my eyes in my real bed, and started laughing.