Aegon and the Troupe return to Nashkel seeking to help the mayor with the latest troubles plaguing the town. After a futile search for the latest of Nashkel’s problems, Aegon finds himself babysitting a couple of young children for a mother overwhelmed by her commitments.
19 Eleint 1368
The two children are upset as their mother goes away. Sarah sounds hurt as she talks, and Tom begins to cry.
Sarah: Why is Mommy going away?
Tom: Mommy?
I actually don’t know where she is going, so I don’t know what to say. There’s a brief moment of quiet as Tom stops crying.
Sarah: I want my doll.
Tom: Bear!
Sarah: That meant he wants to have his bear.
You don’t say?
Tom: Bear!
Sarah: And I want my doll.
Okay, these kids are annoying. Maybe if I give them what they want they will shut up.
Aegon: Here you go. A bear and a doll.
Sarah: I don’t like this city.
It seems to work. Sarah starts humming as she pretends to make her doll walk. Tom sits down, hugging his bear with one hand and sucking the thumb of the other. Just as I feel like peace has been negotiated, Tom stops sucking his thumb and shouts up at me.
Tom: ‘eets.
What is he talking about?
Tom: ‘eets!
Sarah: Me too!
Tom: ‘eets!
Sarah: You don’t get all of them! Mommy said they’re for both of us!
Ah right. I think I know.
Tom: ‘eets!!
Aegon: Are you talking about sweets?
Sarah: Mommy said the sweets are for us both!
I don’t want them to get hyped up on sugar. They’re already proving to be a lot to deal with.
Aegon: I say we wait a bit with the sweets. You will get them later.
This time Sarah sits down as well and begins to sulk. The way she is acting you’d think the world was about to end. A child knows little of the real problems in the…
Tom: ‘eets!
Sarah: Do we get them now?
Tom: ‘eets!
Sarah: Me too!
Tom: ‘eets!
Sarah: Please, do we get the sweets, please?
Tom: ‘eets!!
Sarah: Do we get them now?
Ugh! Will this ever end. Where did their mother go? When is she coming back? I just realised she never told us this. I cave into their demands.
Aegon: OK, but be quiet.
Tom grabs at the sweets quickly, before I can stop him the sweets are all gone.
Sarah: Mommy said the sweets are for us both!!
I look at Tom who’s already stuffing his mouth. I decide to scold him.
Aegon: Wait a minute, did you take them all? You will get sick!
Tom begins to cry as Sarah grabs at the sweets. These kids are a nightmare. I wish I could just fight another dragon. When Sarah has had her fill she looks up at me and complains through candy-stained teeth.
Sarah: Tom had more than me!
Sarah: You, see what Tom is doing with his sweets?
Tom: Eeek!
What is he…? Why is he…? What is wrong with this kid?
Aegon: Tom, do not put the sweets in the dirt before eating them!
Tom: Eeek!
He ignores me and keeps using the ground as a dipping sauce.
Aegon: Tom, do not put the sweets in the dirt before eating them!
Sarah: Eeek! See what he is doing now! Tom, you shouldn’t do this!
He still doesn’t stop. He really likes to eat dirt.
Aegon: I said not to put the sweets into the dirt, Tom!
Sarah: Tom, Mommy wouldn’t like it!
Aegon: I said not to put the sweets into the dirt, Tom! Are you listening?
No he isn’t.
Sarah: He ate them all now!
I sigh. I give up.
Aegon: That he did, indeed.
The sweets are all gone and for a moment I think it’s all over. Unfortunately Tom is working hard at upsetting his sister.
Sarah: Mommy said you shouldn’t do this, Tom!
I look down and see Tom rubbing his teddy bear on the ground before sucking on it. This cannot be healthy for the child.
Aegon: Get your bear back up here, and quick!
Tom: ‘nah.
Sarah: Mommy wouldn’t like this at all, Tom!
Tom: ‘nah.
He reaches out to grab Sarah’s doll.
Sarah: No, you don’t get my doll!
Tom: ‘buh.
Sarah: Get your hands off my doll!
Tom: ‘buh!
Sarah: No! No!
I’ve had enough of this. I raise my voice.
Aegon: Tom, Sarah, stop it!
The kids fall silent and look guilty. Then Tom begins to cry again. Or maybe I could fight another ogre mage. A whole group of them even. Anything but these two kids. Sarah walks up to me and holds up her doll as if she wants me to inspect it.
Sarah: My doll is the nicest doll in the world. Don’t you think so?
It’s a doll. Nothing to special about it. It looks a bit dirty and worn, likely because Tom rubbed it through dirt and tried to eat it. She seems to be friendly at the moment. Perhaps it’s a good time to try and get her to wear her coat.
Aegon: Sarah, please put on your coat.
She completely ignores what I say.
Sarah: Mommy knitted the shoes herself. We bought the wool from Aunt Helena. Do you know Aunt Helena?
Aunt Helena isn’t really my aunt. I don’t like her. She has a funny nose.
Her nose looks like a red dragon’s nose. Have you ever seen a red dragon?
Aegon: Would you listen to my answer?
Sarah: It’s all red and… red. I don’t like her nose. But the wool is nice. She gave me blue colored wool, as a gift. Mommy said she only did that so we’d come back again.
Do you know what Mommy knitted out of the blue wool?
Okay, maybe I should humour her.
Aegon: The scarf?
Sarah: Out of the blue wool, she made a little pillow. But Oskar ate it! Do you know Oskar?
Aegon: Sarah, please put on your coat.
Sarah: Oskar is the old, fat dog from the other house. Mommy said he thought it was a cookie.
Tom looks up when he hears the word “cookie.” This time Sarah decides to be the parent.
Sarah: No, Tom, you can’t have one. We already ate all the sweets!
Okay, let’s try this again.
Aegon: Yes, and now you should drink something. Here are your bottles.
Sarah: Aw, no!
Aegon: Yes. Drink something, Sarah. See, Tom already did.
Sarah: I don’t like it!
Aegon: It is water… I suppose. You have to drink something, Sarah. It’s healthy.
Sarah: Aw, no!
One last try to do something.
Aegon: Now put on your coat, Sarah.
Sarah: It’s too warm!
Aegon: No, it’s not. Put on the coat, Sarah!
Sarah: It’s too warm!
I pinch my nose and take a breath. I give up again. Wyverns. In a cave full of wyverns, barbed tails striking at us with their poison tips. At least I could torch them with fireballs.
Aegon: Let us just be quiet and wait!
I close my eyes and imagine myself back in a dungeon, trawling through a dense forest, or trapped in a cave with monsters. For a moment I am calm, but the silence is broken by another demand.
Sarah: I’m thirsty!
I just…! Oh for… I need to hold my tongue or I’ll start swearing like a dwarf.
Aegon: Then I would suggest you drink something. Here is your bottle. Tom, take yours, too.
Sarah: I don’t like this! I want juice!
It’s the middle of the night! Where am I supposed to get juice?
Sarah: Juice! Would you buy me juice?
Tom: Too!
Sarah: I asked first!
Aegon: Sorry, but it will be your bottles for today. No juice.
Sarah: But I want juice!
I put my foot down.
Aegon: No, Sarah, there is no juice.
Sarah: Where did Mommy go?
Well that came out of nowhere.
Aegon: I am sure she will be back soon. It can’t take much longer.
Sarah: Mommy! Where is mommy?
Aegon: As I said, I don’t know, but she’ll be back soon.
Sarah: Will you buy me juice?
Ah, I thought we’d moved past this. I notice Tom spilling his bottle.
Aegon: Tom! Your water makes puddles on the floor!
Sarah: Loo-ook! Tom’s making a mess! Tom’s making a mess!
I try to calm Sarah down.
Aegon: Some water on the ground. No need to worry.
Sarah: Eek! Don’t point it at me!
She screams as if she’s been hit with an arrow.
Aegon: It’s only water, Sarah… I think.
Sarah: He spilled it on my shoes!
Aegon: And his bear. It doesn’t matter, the bottle is empty now.
Sarah: And his trousers! Tom is we-et. Tom is we-et.
Aegon: Children… be quiet.
Maybe I could grapple a bear. No weapons. No magic. I’m sure I could still win. Even if it eats me, at least I wouldn’t have to listen to any more of this.
Sarah: Can I have a look at your weapons?
I guess it can’t hurt for them to look.
Aegon: What do you want to see?
Sarah: What is this?
Aegon: That is a…
Sarah: What do you use that for?
Aegon: That is used to…
Sarah: What is that shiny thing there?
Aegon: I would like to explain, if you’d stop talking.
Sarah: Is it okay Tom is holding that in his hands?
I look over and see Tom playing with a dagger. Somehow he must have pulled it from my Bag of Holding.
Aegon: Gods, Tom! Give that back. How could I miss how you’ve taken this?!
He raises the dagger in defense and lets out his warcry.
Tom: Raaaah!
Aegon: I am sorry, Tom, but this is not a toy.
Tom: RAAAH!
Aegon: Child, be quiet!
After raising my voice Tom drops the dagger and starts to cry. Not cry, bawl.
Tom: Waaah!
Sarah: Tom, be quiet!
Tom: Waaah!
Sarah: Mommy wouldn’t like this at all, Tom!
Tom: Waaah!
Tom grabs Sarah by the hair.
Sarah: Eeek! He is pulling my hair!
Tom: Waaah!
Sarah: Eeeek!
Tom: Waaah!
Sarah: Eeeek!
I try and pull them apart, but they have the strength of ten giants.
Aegon: Children… children… gods.
Sarah: Eeeek!
Aegon: Children, be quiet!
This time I shout so loud I could wake up all of Nashkel. Tom releases Sarah from his grip.
Sarah: I’ll tell Mommy, Tom!
Aegon: Shh, no need. It’s all right now.
Silence now. Blissful silence. Even just a small pack of gibberlings. No, a whole army of them even. I can take on anything at this point.
Sarah still needs to tell me one more thing.
Sarah: Tom is we-et!
I know he is. There’s nothing I can do right now.
Finally I see what I have been hoping to see for a long time. Mrs. Blackwood returning! I was beginning to think she never would. The kids jump with excitement upon seeing her. And I breathe the longest sigh of relief.
Mrs, Blackwood: Ah, here you are. I am so grateful. Thank you again, dear stranger. Sarah, Tom, I am back! I see you didn’t manage to make Sarah wear her coat, either. Don’t worry, that’s how she is.
She sighs as I hand Sarah’s coat back to her.
Aegon: I hope you accomplished what you had in mind.
Mrs, Blackwood: Well, yes, in a way… See, I don’t have any money. I had to go and talk to their dad… in private. He will pay for our transfer to my family in Amn, and that’s all. Bastard! Oops, I am sorry. Children, that is a bad word, don’t you ever use it!
Well, I guess we have to go now. It might be hard to understand why I can’t take them along to their dad… Thank you again so much for your help! I’ll tell everyone of your kind generosity.
Come along, children!
And with that she and her children leave my life. All that is left is a valuable lesson: the life of a parent is far more challenging than the life of an adventurer. For now, I will stick to dragons and ogres.
Now to find the mayor…
